More Rain

Rainy season has definitely arrived.

Tomorrow is the big birthday party, we are all very excited. I just got back from the market buying fruit, a toy for the babies and some stuff for the kids. I am definitely not leaving my house the rest of the day, it is way too wet outside. But even though the rain is sucky, I must say I love the market. I know I talked about it before, it has everything foodwise, but it all has, well, everything. It's kind of like Wal-Mart (in that you can buy lots of cheap stuff) but way better because a.) it's not Wal-Mart b.) there are lots of different people to support so you know your money is not going to a huge, corrupt, corporation c.) you can find things that Wal-Mart probably doesn't have like magnifying glasses, chicha, chicken with their claws still attached, childrens toys with descriptions written in incorrect English, and real homemade potato chips. Needless to say (again), it is a great place.

Yesterday a new baby arrived at the orphanage, but not the baby we were expecting. This one is only a month old and his name is Orlando. He is so so tiny, I am always a little afraid to pick him up. All he really does is sleep, eat, and poop, so he is much easier to take care of than the older babies. But for some reason, when I was standing over his crib watching him sleep for the first time, I felt an intense sadness that I hadn't really felt before. Or maybe I just hadn't come to terms with it yet. I hear stories about where the kids come from, and of course daily I think about how sad the reality of their situation is. But when I was looking at this tiny little baby, this little bundle who just really needs his mother more than anything in the world, I could feel my heart aching and I was nearly brought to tears. I think also the fact that I knew he had spent the first month of his life living in the hospital and other government institutions, that just added to my sadness. All I know is, that someday, when I am a mother, I will love that little one with every fiber of my being no matter what. I just can't imagine it any other way. I do always try to remind myself that I just don't know and understand the situations of these parents, but sometimes it's hard to think with that mindset. At the very least, the children at Casa Hogar are well taken care of and they are loved. All I can do is smile, play, help out the best I can, and give plenty of kisses and hugs.